we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
