Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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