doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
