Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
