btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Randomize
