im having a threesome with these popsicles
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
