he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
