the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize