i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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