butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
