Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
