i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
