Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
