OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
