Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
