So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
