I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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