I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
