so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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