About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
