guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
