some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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