He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
