I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Randomize
