Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
