I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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