K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
