He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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