i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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