Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
