so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
