This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
