yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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