there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
