Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
