i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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