It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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