I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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