you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
