so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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