And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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