You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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