I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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