I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
