dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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