I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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