I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize