Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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