Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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