My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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