He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Pants are for mortals
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
