i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
