i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize