there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
