You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
