omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
