so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
