Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
