so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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