Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
