found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
