then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize